Friday, April 18, 2014

Don't let go

"I never give you my pillow, I only send you my invitations, and in the middle of the celebrations, I break down."

Today I have another glass-gone-wrong story for you.

There is an Italian glass color (#082) called Lavender Blue. Lavender glass always color-shifts, depending on the light, fluorescent or incandescent. Sometimes it looks more blue and sometimes more pink.

A few years ago, there was an odd batch of this glass that came out with an amber cast and was nicknamed Amber Rose. There were later odd batches, a rosier pink version and a lighter pink version.

I had some of those second-generation odd batches in my stash. I never had any of the original Amber Rose.

Quickie iPhone photo of my glass, taken in natural light on an overcast day.

Photo of the original lifted from a sold item on Etsy. It appears to be taken in studio light, so not a fair comparison, but it's all I've got. The number on the tag is 591082-A.

There is other glass available in this colorway (Czech, Lauscha, Messy Color) that is just as nice in my opinion, but people still pine for Amber Rose. I decided to sell mine, in the Lampwork Etc. Garage Sale.

The rosy pink batch sold quickly and the buyer was thrilled with it. The lighter pink batch drew some interest but no committed buyers. Then someone who shall be called Destiny (not her real name) asked if I would take a 20 percent lower price thank I was asking, and I agreed, glad to see it go.

I shipped it off. I made one fatal mistake. I didn't relabel the glass, which still bore the original color number.

Yesterday I got this message.
Liz, I did not receive Amber Rose. You sent me Dark Lavender Blue which I can purchase for $22 at Mountain Art Glass. Where is my Amber Rose?
I replied as follows.
Hi Destiny - I bought it as Light Amber Rose. It's a different shade than both the 082 Lavender Blue and the 083 Dark Lavender Blue that I have.

I sold some to [a well-known bead maker] a while back and she seemed happy with it.

But if you're not happy with it, I will refund your money.

I was miffed to get this in return.
But how can you say that it is Amber Rose when the tags so clearly say otherwise? Why didn't you just say that it is Dark Lavender Blue? I really feel ripped off, which I have never experienced on LE.
That got my back up. I usually don't show my derriere but I was upset.
Destiny - I already said I'd refund your money. I also said that I bought it myself as Light Amber Rose. And the tags say 082-B and I believe Original Amber Rose was 082-A. It never had a separate number that I know of.

I am offended that you are suggesting I "ripped you off". If it isn't what I bought it as, and what I thought it was, then it was a honest mistake that I've already said I'd put right.

This is what she said next.
The tags say 082. And I was expressing how I feel, not that you intentionally did anything to rip me off. I just found that number at [a large glass vendor] for $15 a pound. Yep, I guess I want my money back and I'll get this in the mail by Friday. I'll send you an invoice that includes the shipping I paid. Thanks.
And before I could react, she followed up with this.
So what is the best way to go about this? Not been here before.
Destiny has 70 posts on the forum. I have 4,850. Just saying.

I had to run then, to go to my volunteer shift at the animal shelter. I accidentally left my phone at home, and I felt bummed out about it for the rest of the morning. When I got home I sent this note.
I've issued a refund to you. It would have been sooner but I had to run out to my volunteer shift at the animal shelter and I was so upset about this that I forgot my phone.

I've been a long-time member here, have bought and sold many items in the Garage Sale, and have never been anything but honest or had my integrity called into question.

Don't worry about returning the glass. Make some beads for Beads of Courage or donate it to your local glass group.
And that, it appears, is that, since I've heard nothing further.

Again, bad on me for not soaking off the tags and replacing them with tags that read "Second Generation Pale Amber Rose 082-B."

I'm over it now, or maybe not, since I'm posting about it. But I'm gonna chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and move on. (God, I love saying that.)

I don't care about the glass, the $40, the shipping costs. I care about my reputation.

Speaking of which, this little gem popped up on Facebook yesterday. It was a graphic and wrongly attributed, so I've re-keyed the message. A lot of people must really have time on their hands to sit around making cutesy graphics with messages like this. But apparently not enough time to check their sources. The quote is from Seven Steps for Overcoming Ego’s Hold on You and the author is Wayne Dyer, author of self-help books and speaker on the same topic.
Stop being offended
Let go of your need to win
Let go of your need to be right
Let go of your need to be superior
Let go of your need to have more
Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements
Let go of your reputation
Now, he had me up until that last notion. He elaborates at some length, with what boils down to this.
Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all.
Ah, there I disagree. Your reputation is based on your actions. And omissions I suppose. While I agree, for the most part, that "what other people think of me is none of my business," I believe you do have some control over that. Not total control maybe. There are always going to be honest mistakes, like the one I chronicled today.

There will be unintended slights and misunderstandings and misperceptions. You will rub some people the wrong way, just as some people rub you the wrong way, and not everyone will love you. But throw integrity and honesty and kindness out the window and you will have no one but yourself to blame for the destruction of your reputation.

Reputation is not to be confused with character, but reputation follows character. Don't let go of it.

"Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations, I break down

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

Oh yeah, all right
Are you gonna be in my dreams

And in the end, the love you take
Is equal to the love you make."


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Thanks for your comment! I will post it as soon as I receive it. Liz